Saturday, November 13, 2010

This ain't no sappy story

It seems, that it is that time again. I bring out the boxes, I pack my stuff and it’s time to leave.


And every time I move it’s also time to pack up the memories of the years gone by at the current station of the Life Railway. Before I board, I wish it was only material that I had to pack up, my faded tees and the only pair of shorts. But no, the recollections, some in boxes I will open, some in boxes I may open and some I hope I never open. But in boxes they will remain, stored haphazardly only to be structured later in nightmares to come.

But you, memories of you will be the strongest.

Containing them in a box in going to be pretty tough.

Your smile that you give, so rare, like the sight of the Irrawady dolphins in kuching – only if you’re lucky.

The effort you put in details, so annoying. Signing with the opposite. Ugh.

Those childish tantrums

The refusal to be kissed

Your discipline, an example.

The vacillating moods I never understood

The way you move your body and snap your fingers – oh so gaily-

I’ll miss the view of such striking contrast- the ugly beautiful – your skin; that sparkle

The chocolate scent that emanate from you sometimes overpowering – I’ll be reminded of you every time I crack a bar

The echoes of your voice when you sleep, yes, when you sleep – the days you were beside and the sleepless nights will always light up my dark nights soon when I’m alone

Those odd days when we kissed, we shared…. I’ll always, always, always miss. Of everything, that is one thing that when I think of, feels like a whisk of wind from my heart traveling up my body which condensates into little droplets that pool in my eyes – which speaks volumes of the depth of my feelings for you ~ every kiss, a meaning, an edict of my love;



I’m afraid.

Maybe I was confused and mislead like you said.

Just perhaps.

There’s a conflict between the psyche and crux.

I don’t know

There’ll be sad days and days I’ll miss you………………..

I’m boarding the train, and this box, I keep in my hands.



It beams through the greatest of wars and disasters. It is portrayed in the greatest of movies, cartoons. You hear it in songs; read it in books, magazines, billboards, shows….it is the essence of everything there is. And it is no wonder; it is the very same thing that shakes the very being of your soul. . So powerful, so enduring; yet carries the same potential to break you and shatter you down to your core.

Why do we fall in love? How do we fall in love? What makes you fall in love with somebody so much it creeps into you, crafts a sanctuary in the center of your living being where there’s this eternal fire, this light, this other living thing – with its own mind and beating heart - from the love that had blossomed?


I’m here, bare.

Happy .

Simple. Your smile, your laughter.


The tear in your eye, the quiver in your voice.


The sweetness of our kiss. It really is.


I am, with you.


The affection, the care.


Character contradiction.


The simplicity.

Love is Mother Nature’s bigger sister. It comes stronger than the greatest wind, it hits harder than the largest tsunami, it causes a stir bigger than any hurricane, erupts like the angriest volcano and destroys worst than the most dangerous of earthquakes.

And ironically in the midst of all that

Still make you feel so at peace.