Day 5

My mood's a little better today. Got some procedures done at work, which is fulfilling.

But still unhappy as ever

xxx

Call from a friend, she seems to be going through the same thing. A phase, maybe?

Life is not suppose to be THIS hard. It is just not suppose to be this hard.

I like my work, I don't like the fear.

I don't like the patronizing atiitude.

I don't mind the hours on an on call day, but the rest of the days: I want time to myself.

and the PAY SUCKS. At least, if I got paid for the hours I put in, I'd be happy.

xxx

Meera says we should open a restaurant. Maybe we should

xxx

if workwas the only problem, maybe I'd be able to handle it

but

I'm dealing with all the other issues.

A friend, a person I care so much for is going distant....Maybe it's for the better, maybe it needs some getting used to

Why do I fall in love with people who don't feel the same way.

It's sucky. It's humiliating and embarrassing.

But i've told myself. As long as he is happy. Always.

xxx

What do I really want to do?