Saturday, November 13, 2010

This ain't no sappy story




It seems, that it is that time again. I bring out the boxes, I pack my stuff and it’s time to leave.

Again.

And every time I move it’s also time to pack up the memories of the years gone by at the current station of the Life Railway. Before I board, I wish it was only material that I had to pack up, my faded tees and the only pair of shorts. But no, the recollections, some in boxes I will open, some in boxes I may open and some I hope I never open. But in boxes they will remain, stored haphazardly only to be structured later in nightmares to come.

But you, memories of you will be the strongest.

Containing them in a box in going to be pretty tough.

Your smile that you give, so rare, like the sight of the Irrawady dolphins in kuching – only if you’re lucky.

The effort you put in details, so annoying. Signing with the opposite. Ugh.

Those childish tantrums

The refusal to be kissed

Your discipline, an example.

The vacillating moods I never understood

The way you move your body and snap your fingers – oh so gaily-

I’ll miss the view of such striking contrast- the ugly beautiful – your skin; that sparkle

The chocolate scent that emanate from you sometimes overpowering – I’ll be reminded of you every time I crack a bar

The echoes of your voice when you sleep, yes, when you sleep – the days you were beside and the sleepless nights will always light up my dark nights soon when I’m alone

Those odd days when we kissed, we shared…. I’ll always, always, always miss. Of everything, that is one thing that when I think of, feels like a whisk of wind from my heart traveling up my body which condensates into little droplets that pool in my eyes – which speaks volumes of the depth of my feelings for you ~ every kiss, a meaning, an edict of my love;

Secrets.

But

I’m afraid.

Maybe I was confused and mislead like you said.

Just perhaps.

There’s a conflict between the psyche and crux.

I don’t know

There’ll be sad days and days I’ll miss you………………..

I’m boarding the train, and this box, I keep in my hands.

5 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

My heart felt sorry when i read this..

My heart is crying when i read further..

My heart rotten to be the envy heart when i know the one you are referring is not me.

My heart is pain before n even pain knowing you get hurt/not happy.

However,
my heart is telling me! *WAKE UP* love is not about possession.

Love is about sincerely wishing the person have a happy life.

The train u hook on, maybe someone else is waiting u at the other train station, waiting to take you unconditionally. Or u might not know, someone have already hook onto the train with u, brought the same ticket, giving u a surprise in the train.

Big Hugs for u! =)

8:08 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

memories of u n me is wat keep me going everyday. stay strong

2:07 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am not sure how long i can continue to hold on. Emotionally break down few days in past few months..

The longer i m apart from u (the longer i know we are not possible to be together), the longer i m staying isolated, anti-social, afraid to love another person (even if there is another 1 waiting me, maybe there is no-one also).

That y, i sincerely hope u are happy and well there.

I cant be the one standing at the other side of train station (mostly u dont wan me there either), i will still be the one standing at this station praying for you. wish you have the happy life everyday!

Hugs! =)

1:47 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i stay on my stance

2:28 pm  
Anonymous Vasan said...

I wish all 4 of you mr anonymous could identify yourselves...

6:12 pm  

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