Men vs. Emotions

Sometimes I’m glad I’m a man. I notice that even saying the word sometimes is controversial, but, what the heck.
When I sit and think about times long ago when terrible things happened, I’m just thrown down to tears. Thoughts about my ill aunty, who means so much to me, my sister, and more over some people around me who are facing hardships in life; can really move me. Being a pretty sensitive person, I can’t blame my self for being such an emotional freak. (Mind you, I don’t cry in public). The thing is, I feel good after I cry. Somehow the tears act as a ‘tranquil factor’ that calms me from whatever I was thinking about. It makes me feel better. That’s it. As I walk down memory lane, I recall the times that I have cried: tears of victory in regard of straight A’s, when I watched this soap opera where a pregnant mother fell down and died and the son was shouting out and calling for her (yes, you got it right, it was a Tamil movie), when I was so mad with my friend that I gave him a punch and regretted doing so, and this once when I was publicly humiliated. I was so mad I cried. Not ashamed about it. Geesh. So much for being a man.
Which brings me to the question of the day.
Is it really wrong for a man to cry?
Does it really bring down the level of his machismo just because he is sensitive?
Personally, I think it’s ok for a man to cry; and I’m not saying this just because I cried. It’s terrible, I feel, that guys are set in such a scenario where they always have to be strong, brave and able do deal with everything that come their way. Which makes me wonder why the rate of committing suicide is higher in the male gender?
By this I’m not saying that guys have to turn to becoming sissies. Neither do I think that guys should cry for every single thing in their life. I just feel that men should have the liberty to be allowed to cry. They shouldn’t feel ashamed about it. I don’t know. Sigh. Maternal upbringing has thought me that it is all right to cry. Maybe that could be a reason that set me apart. Despite being brought up in such a way, I must say that my uncle played a huge influence in my forming to a ‘macho’ man. He always undermined me, pushed me to the limits, made me do what I hate to do, and made sure I dare not even shed a tear. I was known as a crybaby. Growing up with two different teaching, I guess I got the best of both. As I grew, I hardly cried (the moments I cried above were times when I was 5-12 years of age), only because I thought that MEN SHOULD NOT CRY. Actually, a little about my uncle, he was a little to the extreme. He never allowed me to carry an umbrella, wear pink, tight clothes, have long hair; etc etc the list goes on and on.
At the end of this, I’m sure the facts that I laid down about myself and what I think might raise some brows. Fuck it. Just let me know what you think, leave a comment.

"When you don't let boys cry tears, they cry bullets"

**click on Men vs. Emotions title above to a hyperlink on sensitivity & men**